If Only People Tried to Understand.

If your loved one had cancer, ALS, or any other illness would you blame them, or worse walk out on them? Would you stop loving and caring about them purely because they were afflicted with a disease they neither wanted nor asked for? It may surprise my family and friends to know just how many members of my mental health group have lost loved ones due to a mental illness they neither wanted nor asked for either. It is painful to know that many, many of them have coped with this, done what they need to do in order to survive and yet are still rejected, isolated and alone rejected by their own family. Many are able to maintain relationships now that they were unable to do in the past due to the condition they were in at the time, but remain unforgiven. It hurts when I hear sons and daughters unwilling to forgive their own parents or even try to understand their side of things too. I cannot imagine being disowned by my children, they are so near and dear to me. Nor can I imagine not being granted access to my grandchildren. Many people who comply with treatment are able to lead productive lives, maintain relationships and live rewarding lives, if society and especially those they love but give them a chance. Every day I hear such sorrowful stories from thousands of persons all over the world. People I have never met except on this pathway of pain. I know how blessed I am that my family never gave up on me, and to have a life's partner who stands by me and loves me through it all. It is possible to work through the madness, the darkness and the pain and inspire others to do the same. People need to know they are not alone and they are accepted and loved. That is all any of us want!! Lynn-Marie Ramjass

I Don't Blame Every Thought, Feeling and Action I Have on My Disorder, Don't You Dare Do that Either!!!

I hope this resonates with a lot of people and you share it. As it needs to be said. I have been stable for going on nineteen years and hospital free. I get upset at times when things befall me which any other person would under the same circumstances. It is unfair and insulting to me to constantly blame anything I say or do on my disorder. Or if I am angry or hurt to ask me if I took my medication. I am not a child and I certainly resent being treated like one. When I am not thinking clearly or lucidly, believe me, I am more than aware of it, and know enough to seek help. I have buried many loved ones and not fallen apart at the seams as some may have supposed that I would. I am not a fragile person just because I have this disorder. It is not a character defect or a weakness. In fact, if others knew what it was like to live with this, or experienced the times I did free fall into lunacy, they would understand the remarkable resiliency and strength it takes to crawl out of that black hole. I am honest with my thoughts and feelings. People cannot play games with my heart and expect me not to react. I don't play games. You either love me as I am, accept me as I am, or you don't. I have survived a lot in my life time. Also, when I love I love deeply and genuinely and I will always love you, but that does not mean that I can always be with those I love. For the sake of my sanity, I have had to distance myself from people who trigger me, that includes members of my own family. For the sake of my immediate family, particularly my sons and grandchildren, I will not allow anything or anyone to push me over that edge again. I do what I must to keep sane. Set boundaries, let people know what you need and expect from them. If you need to be alone for a while, say so. If you need a hug, someone to just listen and not judge or try to fix you. We need people to accept us and love us and be there for us. They cannot walk through this fire for us, but they can assure us that they will be there for us when we emerge the other side of hell. Lynn-Marie.